So I went to elephant school and this is what I learnt.

A. Elephants are very very big.
B. Elephants are always hungry. Is that a snack? Mmm, yummy yummy
bamboo.
C. Elaphants poop alot.
D. Did I mention they are big?!

So I went to elephant school. Not much in information but much in first
hand experience. The guide's english wasn't good enough for my prodding
questions and my lao wasn't good enough either. Two days of riding in
the
jungle and bathing my sweeties. Early on I joined the day tour. A short
one hour ride. All the tourists sit on a little bench, or howdah, on top
of the elephant with the rider, or mahout, sitting in front. My driver
quickly offered we switch(slowly I realize it was as much out of
kindness
and keen perception that I'm not your regular tourist as the fact that
he
was still quite drunk from the night before. Heaving over the side)
After
the rest of the tourists left only I remained for the full two days.
Yay,
four elephants just for me. My first one, Campan, proved pretty self
minded, always choosing her own path. I was told her husband left for
another farm up north, so she was a bit pissed off and sas. To guide
them
we used either verbal commands. "Ya ya" - stop doing bad. "Pai xai" - go
left. "Pai pai" - go go already. Or with physical cues, like kicking
their
ears. Left left! Right right! Come on, go!
To sit I perched high up with my legs tucked into the large ears. BTW
asian elephants have smaller ears than their african bretheren, also the
female got much smaller tusks that don't show. I took my sandals off
like
the locals to feel the warmth of their body. Did i say four elephants? I
only got to ride three. The male would probably realize I'm a novice and
throw me off. The whole idea is not to let them know how insignifently
small we are compared to them. There
After some trekking in scaringly slippery muddy jungle paths we took
them
to the river. Crossing it, at time the elephants were almost completly
submerged with their trunk periodicly breaching the water like a
periscope, gasping for air. After taking the howdah off we got them into
the water again for a bath. They sure get dirty fast. I was surprised to
learn that - at least these - elephants don't use their trunks like a
hose
but splash it into the water. That's also when I learnt that elephants
can
poop underwater.

Call me the Elephant Man. Oh wait a minute. Right, never mind.

Shahar,
Luang Phabang,
Laos

PS. Pictures will follow.